How many women have you slept with? Or if you’re a woman, how many guys have you slept with? “Sleeping with” is a slippery term, because technically you didn’t hook up for the purpose of sleeping, you had some other activity in mind. But still, depending on who you are (male or female) sleeping with someone, especially a new someone can be a casual experience or a major experience with numerous future implications.
The strong sexual identity
I am not a psychologist, and therefore unable to provide a reasonable scenario as to why some people are confident when it comes to sex and some are not. I can just state with a fair amount of confidence that this is the case in real life. To me, this is one of the most distinctive differences between the human species and the other animals: ALL animals take sex for granted, only humans, or at least some of them, fear sex and sexual relationships.
The lucky ones, the majority I presume, have a strong enough sexual identity. They perform well enough in bed to have multiple sex partners over time, and they accumulate enough experience to understand love making is not love, and they can go through quite a few meaningless relationships without getting swept over their feet.
This is the normal, animal like situation mankind should be in, exactly like the animal kingdom – without sex there is no continuity of the species. But somewhere along the way, something had gone terribly wrong – some humans are now afraid of sex and even think of it as an unnatural act! Mind you, I am not referring here to puritans, religious or teenage sex, but grown consenting adults who are simply afraid of sex for whatever psychological reason.
Something is not right
A lot of mature people, males and females, don’t have sexual life whatsoever. They either suffers from some sort of psychological trauma have some sort of physical problem or are otherwise incapable of having an intimate relationship. For those people, it’s not a question of how many sex partners did you have over the years but: are you ever going to get over your problem and have sex?
This problem, in my eyes, can only be described as a sever disability, with 2 possible solutions:
- The ones having some sort of physical sexual disability can try artificial enhancements – some may work and some not, and do the best they can to overcome a horrible disability.
- For those suffering psychological issues, a few options are available:
- Get treated by a certified sexual therapist.
- Get an optional surrogate treatment
- Deal with it yourself
Most of these options require money and time, and lots of them – something not always available to the average person. The last option is the most difficult, and just like with other human issues such as obesity requires very strong will, stamina and self-belief, something that can be acquired over tine and with some self training, and is the obvious better solution.